1.  Heather Tompkins created an anatomically correct cast.  It’s RAD!

2.  You can (and you should) get awesome blow-up Star Wars pool toys.

3.   “This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation. And we’re going to ruin people’s lives over it, and we’re going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I’m talking about people having a good time, these people—you ever heard of emotional release? You ever heard of need to blow some team off?” - Rush Limbaugh, on the Abu Ghraib torture scandal

4.  PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

Getting on a social networking site and immediately trying to get as many friends/followers/pals/buddies/contacts/minions as possible makes you look like an amateur and it discredits your claim that you are a “social media expert.”  Also, approaching total strangers and telling them that you want to share your method for incorrectly using social media is a great way to look like an asshole.

5.  Three words:  Hello Kitty Beer

6.  Levi Johnson + Larry King Live = WTF?!

7.  Brutus and Casey

8.  This person is both insane and talented.  I love the belly dancer.

9.  Would someone please just go kick the Taliban’s ass once and for all?

10.

1.  This is the only good reason to shop at the Dollar Store.  Well, this and cheap candy.

2.  Upholding an age-old tradition, the Pope will once again be responsible for the deaths of millions.

3.  Americans hate science.

4.  Is it (finally) time for Muslims to start taking back Islam from the fanatical, hateful fools who have had a stranglehold on it for so long?  I vote YES!

5.  Jewel shaped ice cubes.  I would totally use the hell out of these.

6.  This woman is 130 years old.  That means she was 47 years old in 1926.  Holy shit!

7.  The Q Speaks + Web Dross = More New Math

8.  Social networking has jumped the shark.  Cute as Hell is a social networking site for…animals.

9. Song of the Day:

10.  Todays TQS Poll:

1.  Religious figures found in everyday objects.  Because faith comes much more easily when you see Jesus in your toast.

2.  Are you on Twitter?  Then you absolutely should be following The Mime.

3.  In another brilliant show of social excellence, South Africa (where same-sex marriage is actually legal) has been experiencing a rise in 'corrective rape of lesbians', meaning of course, that if a lesbian is raped (especially by multiple parties) she will realize how much better off she would be with a man and instantly be "cured" of her condition.  I only wish I was kidding.

4.  Jack White is forming a new band!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5.  The Rainbow Vomiting Pandas of Interestingness.

6.  Q:  How many bad paintings of Barack Obama are there?  A:  Enough for them to have their own website!

7.  Hi!  Billy Mays here…

8.  At last! After years of searching!  The elusive Vault of Bajongas!  (Thanks, Lore)

9.  Song of the Day:

10.  TQS Poll of  the Day:

1.  In a continuation of my investigative post on Obama Prophecies of Doom, I bring you a recent Newsweek article which says Obama may be the antichrist.  Yes, even the MSM is on the Armageddon bandwagon, now.

2.  Reason #2,583 not to shop at Wal-mart:  Wal-Mart Customer Finds Human Teeth in New Wallet. 

3.  Don't you just want to pinch them???

4.  A Chinese woman athlete found out she was actually a man, and gave back her medals.  Talk about an identity crisis!

5.  GEEKGASM:  New Star Trek Movie Trailer!!!!!

6.  JUNGLE LOVE!  IT'S DRIVING ME MAD! IT'S MAKING ME CRAAAZZZZYYYY!

7.  Look, I like you Woverine. I really do.  But I mean, we're FRIENDS.  Got it?  Just friends. 

8.  Sweet, sweet revenge.  Now all we need are manties and mantyhose.

9.  The Song of the Day:

10.  TQS Poll of the Day:

1.  The Nose Bra.  Why did this ever go out of style???

1.  You know how old ladies like to steal packets of artificial sweeteners from restaurants?  I’ve  found out what they do with them!

2.  In case you still need a reason to STOP eating crap at McDonald’s.  Here are terrifying interpretations of Ronald McDonald that will haunt you in your dreams–even worse than a McRib sandwich.

3.  Here’s a list of 99 things you should see on the internet.

4.  This blog is called Adventures in Bento Making and it is a perfect example of why I love Japanese culture so much. Cute food kicks ass.

5.  Here’s an inspiring article about Iranian women refusing to be pigeon-holed by the religious/political institution. Rock on, Iranian women!

6.  In an effort to give themselves an identity crisis, these two people make life-size wax candle sculptures of themselves and then sat around and watched them burn.

7.  Animals look at the world differently than we do.

8. You know those signs they put in the restroom that say, “Do not dispose of Feminine Hygiene Products by flushing them in the toilet. Please place in the trash can provided”?  Well, I think they need to make one for placentas, too.

9. Song of the Day:

10. TQS Poll:

1.  Here is a delightfully snarky article about the 20 different styles of photos used by dudes on Facebook.  Although, to be fair, as a chick I’m guilty of a couple of these, too.

2.  This is an enormous collection of user-submitted photos that have been taken of their cats, after having just been rudely awakened:  Wake Up Your Cat.

3.  A couple from New York moved to Delhi, India and write a blog about it called Our Delhi Struggle.  They decided to have a Bollywood Poster Artist design their Christmas Cards this year.  How do you say, “AWESOME!” in Hindi?

4.  Need trouble visualizing the Crap Bonanza that is the current housing market?  Check out this chart to help you grasp just what went wrong.

5.  Some COLOSSAL DICKHEAD stole money from the goddamn GIRL SCOUTS while they were selling cookies outside a San Antonio Walgreens.  Isn’t there a special place in hell for people like this?

6.  This ridiculous woman is spending almost $60,000 on plastic surgery to look like Demi Moore.  The reason?  She’s going to die soon and can’t spend the money on her wedding–and she wants to look like Demi Moore before she dies.  Mother Fucking Teresa, she is.

7.  Here are some STUNNING PHOTOS of Carnivale!

8.  Captain Obvious.

9.  Today’s Song:

10.  Today’s TQS Poll:

1.  A Salt Lake City woman was able to detain a potential car thief by giving him a wedgie. 

2.  That story reminds me of a poem my brother wrote in high school:

Melvin

I have a friend.
His name is Melvin.
He gives me wedgies
All through the night.
And when you're not looking
He reaches around
And grabs your undies
And yanks them up your butt.

3.  In an effort to clear up the perception that they are a sexist society that uses women and oppresses their rights without giving them the respect they deserve, Afghanistan is about to launch a Model Contest television show.  Because really, objectifying women and valuing them for their beauty is so much better than hiding them in tents.

4.  Getting married?  Consider this exquisite gown that one of my Facebook friends is selling on ebay:

5.  Here is the Rosy-Lipped Bat Fish.

6.  Did you ever wonder what the President does?  Well wonder no more!  My six-year-old son has been kind enough to depict the POTUS's most important duties in full color illustration:

I assumed that the President was golfing in the first picture, but I
was informed that he is actually standing at a podium "choosing". 
Choosing what?  By the smile on his face, I am guessing he's finally
chosen a staff member without a record of tax evasion.

In the
second picture, the President is "telling".  That is an important job,
after all.  Someone has to tell everyone else what is going on and what to do and how to behave.  The guy who
is being told doesn't look very happy, though.  Must be a Republican.

And
in the third picture, the President is in charge of the "Urmee" (a/k/a
Army).  Please note the fancy yellow star.

7.  If you want to have a really rockin' party, invite this guy.

8.  Did you know that Kiefer Sutherland has a twin sister?  I am not even kidding.

9.  Today's music video:

10.  Today's TQS Poll:

Online Surveys & Market Research

1.  This is why you're fat.

2.  President Obama has a potty mouth.  Ok, well…maybe not exactly a potty mouth.  But these recorded clips from the audio book Dreams From My Father record him quoting one of his more eloquent buddies from his college days.  I am still trying to figure out how to turn "You ain't my bitch, nigga–Buy your own damn fries!" into a ring tone.

3.  Awesome picture of tortoises in the mud.

4.  The fabulous Michelle Obama will be on the cover of Vogue in March:

5.  Awwww. Babies are so cuuuuute…

6.  Al Tepper is the Interesting Person of the Week.

7.  An Open Letter to the President- written by a former Republican and son of the co-founder of the Relligious Right.

8.  My sincerest condolences to the families of those lost on the Continental Airlines flight which crashed in Buffalo late last night. 

9.  Song of the Day:

10.  TQS Poll of the Day:

1.  Some 16-year-old kid in Toronto got stabbed in the leg but went to a job interview anyway.  Now THAT is what I call motivation!

2.  This article lists the ten most successful potheads on the planet.  Among them?  The President of the United Fucking STATES.  So THERE.

3.  A friend of mine sent me this link for Volcano Island Honey Truffles.  What?  You've never heard of Volcano Island Honey Truffles?  Please allow me to enlighten you:

Ho.  Lee. Shit. that sounds so good my toes tingle reading it. 

4.  This brilliant person is an artist who creates popular figures out of My Little Pony dolls.  For example:

5.  The New York Times has an article about how much money it costs to live in NYC and how $500,000 is simply not enough because most families have important expenses like two vacations a year that end up costing around $16,000, and $35,000 a year for private school.  I feel really, really bad for those sad, sorry fuckers.  Don't you?

6.  Ann Coulter is under investigation for voter fraud.  Again.

7.  Three words:  Chocolate Covered Bacon.

8.  Someone loves their BlackBerry even more than I do!  Check out this BlackBerry ice sculpture.

9.  My song of the day:


10.  TQS poll of the day:

1.  I am addicted to Frosted Mini Wheats.  No, I am not being paid to say this.  I am genuinely proclaiming my love for the FMW.  They are perfectly crunchy and sweet–they soak up just enough milk without becoming mushy before I finish the bowl.  Sometimes I crave them in the middle of the day.  When I wake up in the morning, I am excited for breakfast.

Frosted Mini Wheats, Divine!
I buy a box, and they are MINE!
No one else should try to eat
My box of Frosted Mini Wheats!

(Cue Applause)

2.  This is the BEST baby shower cake in the history of baby shower cakes.

3.  It looks like there is a new reality show being made called Arranged Marriage.  I simply cannot wait until this comes out.  Rest assured I will recap each episode on my blog.  They are also taking applications so if you're looking to get hitched but haven't found someone on your own (for whatever reason) check it out. And if you get on the show, you must let me interview you!

4.  If you are interested in marketing, human psychology or both–check out this blog post titled 10 Irrational Human Behaviors and How to Leverage Them to Improve Web Marketing.

5.  You've probably already heard about Christian Bale's freakout where he screamed abuses at some poor fool on the set of his latest movie.  But have you heard the remix?  (NSFWOK)

6.  All of the people who are bitching about the poor vetting process used to select nominees for positions in the new administration need to consider this:

Of the almost 300 million people in the U.S., what are the ODDS that Obama would have selected three people who just "happened" to have evaded paying their taxes?  Does anyone think that maybe–just maybe–the one thing these people have in common might signal an even larger problem?  That is, if three random politicians who picked out of a hat all had problems paying their taxes…MAYBE they aren't the exception.  How much do you want to bet that if we took the time to review the tax history of every single Senate and Congress member we wouldn't find the same thing?  Maybe it's time for a People's Audit?  Whaddya say?

7.  This stupid bitch sent twenty text messages on her phone while driving just before crashing into someone and killing them.  And she only got 21 months in the pokey?  WTF? 

8.  The Interesting Person of the Week is Freda Mooncotch, founder of Alphawomen.com.

9.  Today's Video is the Dolly Parton Mexa Mix!  HELLS YEAH!

10.  Aaaaand…today's QSpeaks Poll:

1.  What possesses people to make Funny Toilets?

2.  Here is a highly amusing cartoon depiction of Heaven.

3.  I’m finally getting a Blackberry!  That means I will have access to the internets any time, any place!  Ahhhh.  What a feeling!  I’ve ordered the Curve.

4.  I am obsessed with this song right now:

5.  I’ve almost finished reading the book Chain of Command: The Road from 9/11 to Abu Ghraib by Seymour Hersh, and it is very enlightening.  It really gives you a glimpse of the inner workings of the government and military; and really clarifies some of the decisions that were made during the past 8 years.  I’ve had several “ah ha!” moments reading it. 

6.  Can you explain this?

7.  Are you following me on Twitter?

8.  Are you feeling mushy?  Go to Trees Instead and write your love story to win a $250 Amazon Gift Card and an acre of trees to dedicate to your loved one!

9.  A comfortable looking bra!

10.  Today’s QS Poll:

1.  Have you seen the Bubble Tweet?  If you've made one already, can you tweet it to me: @TheQ_Speaks?  I want to see how people are doing them.

2.  Suicide rates in the Army are the highest they have ever been since they started tracking them back in the 1980's.  This makes me sick to my stomach.  Soldiers are not in a position to question–their JOB is to follow orders.  They have placed their lives in the hands of their commanders, trusting them completely to make the best decisions, to not place them in unnecessary danger, and to use their force for the best possible reasons.  Not to exploit them and risk their lives for the sake of war profiteering. 

3.  He's so cool.

4.  I found my cell phone!  It was on my nightstand.  I'm totally serious.  It was on my goddamn night stand for three days and I couldn't find it. 

5.  Neil Diamond is the shizz.  If you don't like Neil Diamond then you are the type of person who cannot be completely trusted.  This is a scientific fact. 

6.  In honor of Neil Diamond, may I present:

7.  Today, our President signed the Pay Equity Law.  If he keeps this up, we're going to be a goddamn Utopia in four more years!

8.  The Costco $9.99 take-and-bake pizza is the best deal ever.  EVER.

9.  In honor of the Super Bowl, America, and all things processed and cheezy, I present The Greatest Snack Food Stadium Ever Built!

10.  Today's Q Speaks Poll:

1.  Owls are cool.

2.  My friend Sara Seumae is the Interesting Person of the Week.  She's the creator, designer, and all around powerhouse behind the organic clothing line SPUN.

3.  It's Top Chef night!  Who'd going to get the chop?  PLEASE don't let it be Stefan!  Actually, I'm hoping Carla makes a comeback and kicks everyone's ass.  Anytime there's a kook on the show, I'm gonna be in their corner.

4.  Why the fuck doesn't Taco Bell deliver?

5.  My kids are supposed to be making paper bag vests that they decorate with "100 Things" in honor of the 100th day of school.  They drew colorful rainbows, butterflies, cars, planets, stars, hearts–and as a finishing touch, my son added a picture of a person sitting on a toilet.  I only wish I was kidding.  The good news is, it's a pretty good picture for a six-year-old.

6.  Today's Q Speaks Poll:

7.  Gaza Body Count:  1,314 dead total.  412 Children.  Fucking disgusting.

8.  AOL News is asking if Obama is The Most Famous Living Person Ever.  Then it gives readers a poll with the following contenders for the title.  In addition to President Obama are:  The Beatles (not actually a person), Princess Diana (she has her own collectible plates,  too!), Adolf Hitler (WTF?), and Michael Jackson (*snort*).  I am not exactly sure what to think of AOL news right now.

9.  There is now a support group for socialites who's husbands are financially hurting from the bad economy.  Should I join or what?!?!

10.  I miss Helen Reddy, man.  That ain't no way to treat a lady, ya big dickhead:

Yeah, I like doing these 10 Things lists.  They are just perfect for my short attention span.

1.  I found this article about 6 Words That Make Your Resume Suck.  And I have all of them on my resume.  I guess a revision is in order.

2.  Can someone tell my  why the HELL the Proactiv Solution commercials are so goddamn loud?  I'll be innocently watching CNN and pondering whether or not I'd rather do Anderson Cooper or Don Lemon, and suddenly…

DO YOU SUFFER FROM ANNOYING BREAKOUTS????

I suffer, it seems, from commercials that have somehow figure out how to broadcast their audio at unnecessarily high decibels.

3.  I read this fascinating article about all the pharmaceutical antibiotics in India's Ganges River. This got me thinking!  (I know, I know)  Maybe we should dump Valium into the aquifers in Israel and Palestine and see if it calms that shit down?  Or how about some Redux into the water supplies of American cities?  Can you see where I'm going with this?  BETTER LIVING THROUGH MODERN MEDICINE, YA'LL!

4.  Scientists change their minds all the time.  Coffee is good for you.  Then it's bad for you.  Eggs are good for you.  Then they are bad for you.  Consider this ad from what looks like the 1970's.  *sigh*  Those were the good old days.

5.  I found this hilarious new blog called Cake Wrecks.  She writes snarkily about shitty cakes that people make and posts pictures of them.  (The cakes, not the people.)

6.  Some woman in California had 8 babies in 5 minutes.  This (and the announcement that Sarah Palin is indeed intending to run for President in 2012) is the final sign of the Apocalypse.  Fasten your seatbelts!

7.  Today's Q Speaks Poll:

8.  I hate to say it, but Rod Blagojevich is just one of those people you instinctively want to smack upside the head. (See: Ben Affleck)

9.  Kinky Lego Porn.

10.  Seriously—does this ever get old?

1.  The cedar trees are having SEX and making me ILL.  I am no fan of tree porn.  What?  You've never heard of Cedar Fever?

2.  This morning saw THOUSANDS of layoffs from companies like Sprint and Home Depot.  Caterpillar is cutting 20,000 jobs just by itself.  America, we're getting screwed. 

3.  Bunnyglitter wants to know:  Who Would You Rather Do…CNN Anchorstud?

4.  If you are not already sufficiently disturbed this morning, enjoy this music video which will make you feel absolutely filthy:

5.  Are you my friend on Facebook?

6.  Bear Pants:

7.  I can't find my cell phone.

8.  Today's The Q Speaks Poll:

9.  Who would pay $50 for this thing?

10.  Have you ever made your own solar panels?  If so, I want to talk to you.