Hold onto your hats, folks! This card represents your ability to lead, and lead with authority. You are the master of your own destiny, and people will bow to your great ideas, plans and your special purpose.

Not that special purpose.

Bask in your own glory, because this card says you will anyway.

Yes, its been a while, but I have an excuse or 13

Today’s card is The Tower.

Catastrophic change is coming your way, so just get ready to face it head on. Change is good, change is growth, change is 3 dimes and a few pennies. Its still something to go on, right?

The Skelebunnies are skinless undead bunnies that serve Satan!

From the twisted brain of Tommy Kovac.

The spooky, scary 7 of Swords!

Put on your rose colored glasses, because you’re going to need them. Is it the cancer moon? Is it the political climate? Who knows? But, watch your back because someone could be trying to really mess with your head. Oh, and keep your own nose clean. This isn’t the time for lies.

Change, evolve, grow, move forward! Tell ‘em all to piss off! You are the master of your own destiny, so get out there and master it!

3 of Pentacles! Relax, chill out, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Its a good day for a massage and other earthy pleasures. Go have sex, lots of calming, earthy sex.

You know, you could be really successful if you’d just stop being so impulsive.

The 9 of Swords…

Just go back to bed and save yourself some misery. Today isn’t going to be a fun day, in fact, today is really just going to suck.

Its a really good day to break up with someone… I advise a text message or perhaps a candygram.

The King of Cups!

Hey, playa, settle down and use your smarmy techniques for good, not evil.

Oh, you evil woman. How dare you take control of your own life and be selfish enough to do something to benefit yourself. What are you thinking?

The Fool!

You are stumbling through the beginning of a grand adventure. There is joyin not knowing anything except that you have to keep stepping forward. Enjoy the trees and animals, and frolic in the knowledge that right now, ignnorance is bliss.

Ace of Pentacles! You are heading toward success, love and prosperity! Aren’t you a lucky lady? Ride that tide of bliss and make sure that you keep your head and arms inside the ride at all times.

The 10 of Pentacles!

Yep, you’re a rich bitch – full of life, love, money and prosperity. Enjoy it, and remember to think of the little people who helped you get there. That’s right, the Smurfs are waiting.

You know what you want, so you should go for it. Who cares about the little creatures you may trample upon as you gallop about the countryside. Today, you are a Knight seeking fortune in all of its forms.

Just remember that your horse is really the one in control, so don’t piss it off.

Neigh. Have a carrot.

6 of Cups…

Just move on already. Damn. Its just cable TV.

Ace of Cups…

Dude, you’re knocked up.

A time of transformation of many parts of your life is now beginning.

Struggling will only make it harder – grow with the changes.

Bring yourself back into balance

10 of Pentacles – wealth, abundance and culmination of all things good!

9 of cups!

Basically, today is too good to waste on being a pain in the ass. Embrace your inner freak, give her a grope and tell her that she is the greatest thing since spanx.

Feed your soul… with love soup.

I am not afraid of change.  In fact, I relish it.  This may be the only real advantage I have in life.  I wasn’t born with money, or beauty, or talent.  But I have the ability to embrace and adapt to change; and that means that I don’t live in fear.