It was one of those precious moments of laptop cuddles. Your adorable daughter is snuggling with you, as you surf around the Internets and she turns and looks up at you adoringly.

Being a mom, you are always judging the color of the snot that your children produce (right?) and you notice in that adorable moment of love, that your daughter has a big, golden, shiny booger. Fabulous.

Upon further inspection, you realize, no, that is not a booger. It is a popcorn kernel.

Your daughter is 3 and your pinky nail is fairly effective in eliminating boogers, but this one seems to be out of reach. So, attempt #1 fails. You squeeze the bridge of her nose gently, hoping to expel the kernel gently not once considering that your eldest son may have had a point about sneezing bullets and the homocide factor in that feat of magic and you are amazed at how hard the bridge of her nose is.

Is that normal? Or are there a dozen more kernels behind that one? WILL YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE ER?

Attempt #2, The Squeeze, fails.

I never should have given away those hemostats I had when I used to smoke pot. What tools would the doctor use? Could I get away with a chopstick?

Deep breath, swipe it again and again and squeeze just above the kernel, hoping it is the only one and that you are not ejecting more popcorn into your daughter’s brain than is necessary.

Repeat and behold the treasured, snot-covered popcorn kernel. Its kind of like the Crystal Skull, only really gross.

Grumble. Grumble. Gag. Grumble.