Name:

Josh Person

Hometown:

Small Town Iowa. It’s probably the thing I hate most in life.

What is your occupation?

Watch Hulu videos until my boss walks into my office.

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

There is nothing professional about me, but if I had to pick one it’d be the fact that I’ve stayed at the same miserable job for 8 years.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

I once made it through two accounting classes in one term without slicing wrists.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?

Keeping my blog AbsurdlyAwesome.com the most unpopular website of all the internets.

What is your favorite word?

I’m a big fan of the word “slag” in reference to a not so lady-like lady. I also overuse the following: verisimilitude, mendacious and boobs.

What is your least favorite word?

My least favorite words are usually uttered by women whom I ask on dates. Those include: loser, asshole and rapist face.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

I’d probably attempt to get some human flesh. I’m going to die anyways so I might as well see what all of the hullabaloo is about. If that didn’t work out I’d probably just go with something that would give me horrible indigestion so dying wouldn’t be so bad.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

I despise the term “guilty pleasure”. I’m not going to feel guilty about legitimately liking something for one reason or another… Maybe I’ve just been turned off to the phrase from all the pretentious assholes I end up talking to. They usually call a show that I really get into a guilty pleasure and then I jam a pen cap in their eyes.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

I only wear boots because I’m a tiny man. My boots are responsible for the little amount of self confidence I do have. If I was forced to wear only flip-flops for the rest of my life I wouldn’t leave my apartment.

When do you feel happiest?

Usually when I’m driving around outside of town listening to some good music and having a smoke… Particularly when there’s a steady rain going and coffee involved.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

“What’s reading? Lololol…” I know so many people who put that on their MySpace or Facebook pages and I hate them so much for it. It’s as common and stupid as putting “99” as your age. I don’t know if any single book has changed my perception of the world, but reading tons of Albert Camus’ books and essays, my perception has probably shifted a bit.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

Probably Charlie Day from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia just because of the height and facial hair. Either that or Samuel L Jackson.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

1. Be on the run from the government in a situation where I’d be considered the good guy.
2. Learn how to be a ninja.
3. Get over my completely rational fear of clowns.
4. Talk to a girl without it being completely awkward.
5. Become famous for all the wrong reasons.

The world would be a better place if…

Everyone was exactly like me, except shorter so I would be their king.

What is your opinion of Oprah?

She’s like the sheep herder of fat, middle aged housewives. Anyone who is already a cancer to society and then makes the mustache faced Dr Phil famous should automatically get drowned in a river of acid.

Do you dance?

I’d like to quote my all time hero Bill Hicks here with “Real men don’t dance. They sit, sweat and curse.”

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

If I didn’t know any better I’d have to say any product for “male enhancement” just because their advertisements are becoming more and more frequent. If it was all a scam they’d be banned, right?… Right?

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

Before I developed my severe hatred for people I’d have to say New York City, because I love cities. Since the hate has kicked in I’d have to go with Las Vegas where I’d sit at a poker table for 10 hours straight and try to take money from douches.

What is the most interesting thing about you?

Probably how I can act like a cocky asshole who is on top of the world one minute, and then seem like I hate myself the next. I often switch between the two in the same sentence.

Do you ski?

I’ve never gone skiing. I was going to snowboard once until I started walking towards the hill and saw a guy spasm cart wheeling down it at 100mph.

Describe yourself in five words.

Absurd. Insane. Comical. Tubular. Quesadilla.

Name:

Shanna. Nicknames include Spike, Fruit and Fruit Basket. But you can call me ‘Betty’.

Hometown:

Born in SLC Utah. (No, I’m not Mormon) Raised in Ohio (By ex-Mormons)

What is your occupation?

I am a hairstylist. I also do spa services, such as: manicures, pedicures, facials and body treatments. I plan on getting my permanent cosmetics license (tattoo makeup) and my aestitician license (permanent hair removal).

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

Nailing the current job I have now at a full service salon/spa. I have learned more in thepast four months at this job, than I learned at my previous job, which I held for seven years.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

Graduating from vocational school. Honorable mention goes out to the sophomore year I spent at a private Christian school where I learned all about Shakespeare, proper English and grammar. I love grammar.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?

I guess I am most proud of the individual that I have become. I’ve always been the outcast. I’ve always been labeled ‘weird’ and I’ve never understood it. I’m just me.

What is your favorite word?

Alcoholocaust. Instamedietly. Absofruitly. I like words that intertwine. I am also fond of prism, paradigm, epiphany and crotch.

What is your least favorite word?

There aren’t any words that I dislike. I find hilarity in people that are offended by the word ‘cunt’. What the fuck? How is that offensive? I guess I’m not offended by anything though. I don’t know. They’re just words.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

A nice steak cooked medium-rare, mashed potatoes, broccoli, nachos and cheese, scallops, shrimp cocktail, london broil, salad with ranch dressing, sunflower seeds, cheese, goldfish crackers and a triple kamikaze on the rocks.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

My phone. A BlackBerry 8900. This is cellular addiction at its best. Its sick.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

Right now, I’ve been donning a pair of gladiator sandals that are a size and a half too small. But they’re comfy and go with everything. (Probably because I never match)

When do you feel happiest?

I am happiest when I can be selfish and make life all about me. Lately, I’ve been happy spending time with some myspace friends I recently met. We all just clicked. We have a good thing going on. Especially when there is a beer in hand.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

I have this theory about the whole DTV transition thing being a conspiracy. The book 1984 by George Orwell just confirmed my suspicious beliefs.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

I could only hope and pray that I would be played by none other than Tim Curry in drag.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

1. Dominate the banjo.
2. Be forgiven by a certain person.
3. Go to London.
4. Get in my car and just drive to where ever I end up. Sleep, repeat for 2 months.
5. Publish the diary I kept from the ages of 13 to 18. Complete with commentary from my stint in the psych ward. And random photos.

The world would be a better place if…

Everybody had a morbid sense of humor and didn’t take shit so seriously.

What is your opinion of Oprah?

I hear she looks jaundiced these days…

Do you dance?

Horribly. And on bars.

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

Proactiv!! And Matrix Sleek conditioner.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

The most beautiful place I’ve ever been? Sitting on a porch swing in my back yard at midnight, drinking a Newcastle, smoking a Camel ultralight and bawling my eyes out listening to Love to a Monster by Okkervil River on repeat. I was mourning the loss of a 7 year marriage and celebrating a new found freedom all at the same time. It was the most depressing, beautiful place I’ve ever been. A memory that will live in my soul forever.

What is the most interesting thing about you?

I have a sick sense of humor. I am a morbidly sick person. I have some thoughts that I would never tell another human, but maybe we all have those. I don’t know how interesting that is so ill throw in another. I honestly don’t sense awkwardness. I think that’s kind of interesting. I embarrass a lot of people because of that.

Do you ski?

I’ve skied 3 times and I did pretty well. I’m not a fan of cold though.

Describe yourself in five words.

1. Morose.
2. Sarcastic.
3. Individual.
4. Oblivious.
5. Folly.

Name:

Tony aka isweatbutter

Hometown:

Lincoln Park, NJ

What is your occupation?

Chef by trade, Blogger by choice.

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

I was “Kind of a Big Deal” at a huge casino in Atlantic City for four years. It was exhausting work, but I look back at it now and realize how successful I was at my job at the time.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

I graduated from college. Twice. I never thought that was possible.

What is your favorite word?

POPOCATEPETL. (pronounced: Poe-Poe-Cot-Too-Pee-Too) It’s the name of a volcano in Mexico. It’s a super-fun word to use out of context as well. It gets me many a dirty look.

What is your least favorite word?

TRUNDLE. Trundle, according to Webster’s Dictionary means to roll; usually used to describe a trundle bed. A trundle bed? Seriously? If you have one, I think your phone is ringing; you better get it, it’s Carol Brady, she needs her furniture back in 1969. A trundle bed, could just as easily be called a hide-a-bed or a roll-a-bed, therefore no longer necessitating the need for the word trundle.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

My mom’s meatloaf. Cold. On Wonder Bread (which I otherwise NEVER eat). Slathered in Heinz Ketchup (Gotta be Heinz). With a side of Cape Cod Sea Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

I would love to say smoking, but I quit. Again. So lately, since I’m currently unemployed, it’s been Twitter.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

Flip-Flops in general are my favorite. I’m currently rocking a pair of Simple flip-flops that are made out of recycled tires and hemp. They are currently my favorite.

When do you feel happiest?

When I’m on the beach. Without a care in the world. Feet in the sand and beer in hand. With that combined feeling of complete relaxationn and slightly crisped skin. NOTHING beats that feeling.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. Both personally and professionally, it put many things in perspective for me. And I’ve read it cover to cover at least 2 dozen times.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

Jim Gaffigan. Because we mildly look alike, and we have a very similar sense of humor.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

Pilot a helicopter. See Jimmy Buffett perform Live in Key West. Vacation in Vietnam. Be present at a historic speech. Visit all 50 states.

The world would be a better place if…

George W. Bush had never been president. AND if we’d all remember how much we depend on each other for stability and support, like the entire country did after 9/11.

What is your opinion of Oprah?

I respect her for her power to influence. She’s successful. She’s made a lot of money. Too bad that has all gone to her head.

Do you dance?

Do I or Can I? Yes, I do. No, I can’t. But I don’t mind looking like a complete asshole trying.

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

Q-tips. Not “cotton swabs,” Q-tip brand Q-tips. They’re to-die-for.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

Florence, Italy. The colors, the history, the cuisine, the people… it’s are very Complete city, beautiful in every way.

What is the most interesting thing about you?

Not so much interesting as unexpected… I’m an ordained minister. Yes, like Joey from friends. I got ordained so that I could marry my friend Electa and her Hubby Andy in Arizona. So from now on, you can call me, Reverend isweatbutter.

Do you ski?

Ski? No. Snowboard? I’ll say yes, if by “Snowboard” you mean, “Do you slide down a snow covered mountain on you ass with a board strapped to your feet?” In that case the answer would be yes. I’m HORRIBLE at it, but I have fun doing it.

Describe yourself in five words.

Sarcastic. Funny. Unequivocal. Knowledgeable. Caring.

Follow Tony on Twitter:  @isweatbutter

Name:

Nova Rimone Newman

a) i used to love my name until that band got famous. since then i most always have to give an explanation that goes roughly like ‘i had it first’ cause almost everyone i meet goes ‘ooh, like the ramones?’ sometimes i feel like carrying my passport around w/me cause it’s my real name.

b) i use my initials as a made-up acronym meaning No Reply Necessary cos i write very long emails and years ago, realised they overwhelm ppl who can’t type as fast as i can. so i let em off the hook w/that NRN, LOL.

Hometown:

Brooklyn, NYC

What is your occupation?

freelance proofreader and editor in both British and American English. as well, i’m able to do Usability reviews but managers would rather hire those not self-taught at a much higher rate than i charge; my biggest job was Bristol International Airport’s website.

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

went back to Uni when i was twice as old as the average student and got my Special Ed. degree, graduated w/honors and taught children w/ physical, emotional and learning disabilities (as well as counselled their parents) until we all realised my speciality was getting non-readers to not only read, but enjoy doing so.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

Golden Key Honor Society at CUNY. i’m not really proud of it/never really gave it much thought but hey, it happened (Daddy was proud of it and had my certificate thingy laminated on a heavy wooden board. it languishes faced backwards on the floor right next to the toilet.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?

i’ve never been asked such a thing mostly cause i’ve never really accomplished anything worthwhile, apart from  ’school’ in general. um, i’m thinking… LOL, *wood burning*. OK, off the top of my head (you choose and please keep in mind i don’t consider any of these ‘accomplishments’):

a) Daddy taught me to read when i was 3 when i got my first library card and i’ve been keeping journals and still have most of them starting from before i was ten.

b) i’m on my favorite band’s last album.

c) i ran away from home when i was 9 (to California) thanks to the kindness of strangers and managed to evade the police for an entire blissful year where i caught the tail-end of the SF Beatnik movement (was present at poetry readings by ppl who became famous years later). years after that, kids began taking their parents to court and had i been aware it was possible, i would’ve done it: become an emancipated minor.

d) i was lead singer/bass player for a punk band called The Hardeners in NYC and New London, CT (named after some nailpolish stuff).

e) at 18, i was one of the star attractions of a run-down sleazy travelling carnival: the girl on the revolving circular board in a knife-throwing act. the costume was totally fantastic and i loved doing it but whoa, it took a lot of practise (not me, him; my exBF: the knife-thrower). during the act, all i had to do was wear this fabaroo costume and stay as still as i could.

whilst he practised w/my outline chalked on the wheel, i was on a 2nd wheel, practising not getting dizzy at any speed. we agreed beforehand that i’d be the judge of when he was ready to rehearse w/ me (when there were totally no knife-point marks w/i my chalk outline for four solid weeks). hahaha, i just remembered: after he could do it, i chalked the outline two inches further in and made him do it that way for a week or so (whoa, he was so pissed off at me but hey). the most difficult bit was he had to stay straight all day (apart from half a bottle of wine at lunch, he’d not drink or anything until the act was over every night). i mean, i might be stupid but i’m not crazy. well, not /that/ crazy.

f) i was once an actual workaholic (dealt reefer at night, had a straight job during the day, owned a jewelry shop called Silversmythe, was a high-class escort (euphemism for prostitute); all for reasons due to drugs and no one was the wiser cause i was intelligent about it (never stole from people or bosses or my friends and made it into work every day no matter how i felt).

g) this isn’t really an accomplishment per se (neither are any of the others) but when i was really young and got into British bands, i had the brains to determine it was a far better thing to try to be their friend than to bed em down. i mean, y’know, i saw chicks whom i thought were my friends disappear into whomever’s bedroom at whatever hotel in NYC. we’d come back the next day and these poor chicks… well, in brief, they were shocked, dismayed and angry (at me!1!) when i was greeted like an old friend and they were treated like shit (none of them ever spoke to me again and they’d beat the crap outta me in HS from then on, when i was too slow to get outta school after last class and hide). anyway, i realised back then i didn’t wanna be a cumbucket for any dude in any band. LOL, still don’t, actually.

h) most recently my hairdresser who’s also a photographer chose me to be his entry in an upcoming Role Models Show (which i think is hilarious cause if there’s anything i’m not, it’s a role model i.e., if you were me, you’d be dead by now’).

What is your favorite word?

LOL, where to begin? i love all words (i’m a total logophile) but i’d say ‘linoleum’ cos of the way it rolls off my tongue and feels in my mouth (a close second is ‘lingerie’). i prefer words i make up myself, actually; those i use whose definitions are instantly recognisable by others.

What is your least favorite word?

‘work’. i’ve actually got a coupla more like ‘goal’ and ‘achievement’.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

drooolll… glurghllll… OK, a double shot of Jack Daniels to whet my appetite, then a plain salad (iceberg lettuce, tomato, greenpepper, mushrooms and onions) w/an entire lemon squeezed over it, some French onion soup, then a huge filet mignon (medium rare; way pink and almost but not quite bloody on the inside) w/a large sidedish of sautee’d mushrooms, a large sidedish of roasted potatoes and an endless bottle of some kinda rose’, like white zinfandel. then comes the board of like 20, 30 sashimi and/or an assortment of cheeses before dessert, which’d be a pint of Haagen Dazs White Chocolate & Cherry or pint of HD Coffee or pint of HD Strawberry. a few shots of Jack Daniels afterward and then i throw up (but it’d be worth it).

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

i actually found one last week: i totally enjoyed the 3rd remake of King Kong (and i don’t dig blockbusters of any sort). i could watch films 24/7 and i’m totally w/Quentin Crisp: ‘Any film, even the worst, is better than real life’. i used to love reading the dictionary as a child. hmmm, still do, actually, but can’t afford the complete OED; a good friend has the two volume version but i haven’t looked inside it in ages.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

black high-top Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers (which i live in). when it’s way too cold for them, i’m on like my 9th or 10th pair of black leather steel-toed CAT(erpillar) boots (unisex; same deal for men/women).

When do you feel happiest?

‘iz not happiness, iz teh drugs’. let’s move on, shall we?

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

there’re two: Jessica Mitford’s The American Way of Death and Mark Lane’s Rush To Judgment. if i hadda choose one, it’d be Rush To Judgment (which got me into shitloads of trouble at school; and got me kicked out of three or four public HSs cause i’d always tell my teachers what i thought of the Lone Gunman fable they were passing along and consequently, my answers on whatever tests didn’t match their ‘correct’ ones).

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

Juliette Lewis.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

not in any particular order: go skydiving again, make another film, do heroin again, write my book (this’ll never happen; the book’s basically written but i’m too lazy to put it together from my journals and notebooks so i’ve willed — at their request — all these diaries et al. to two close friends, had the paper witnessed &c; it’s all legal), do stand-up comedy sitting down on one of those high director’s chairs. oh wait, being American, i’d love to have a facelift so my face would match how i feel inside my head. just sayin’.

The world would be a better place if…

i could talk about this stuff for ages and have in mails to friends as well as in meatspace. OK, in no particular order:

a)we could reverse the last eight years and the damage bu$hCo did to my country (the impossible dream cause time travel hasn’t been invented yet).

b) if the 5% of Americans who control 95% of the wealth would give it up (yes—’Socialism, straight to the mainline’).

c) if ‘the richest country in the world’ would take care of its own poor, have a decent health care system for everyone (socialised medicine! LOL, commie pinko stuff) and then feed the poor and hungry worldwide. did you know that after Katrina, bu$hCo refused to permit (i think it was) 125 Cuban doctors (well-experienced w/hurricanes) into the country? cause they were Cuban? (OMG! it’s Castro! ‘better dead than red!’). morons.

d) if all of bu$hCo would be brought to the World Court, tried and found guilty for crimes against humanity.

e) if the US would quit raping (and warring on) poorer countries who have the natural resources we think we need so badly.

f) if the US would leave the Amazon River and its environs alone. a few years ago i read ‘we’ kill over 200 species a day down there. i just know ‘modernisation’ and stuff’s killing off plants and animals, some (if not all) of them having potential key elements for medicinal research, ideally for cancer.

g) if the US’ values didn’t include spending money for scientific research on keeping erections and growing hair and spent the goddamned time and money researching how to cure heavy-duty illness. BTW, i stoled the erections and hair bit from Mike Judge’s ‘Idiocracy’ (funny as fuck film and depicts a dystopic US, the likes of which i’d only seen in my worst nightmares due to the damage bush— the chickenshit coward liar himself — was doing to the entire concept of being intelligent. do you remember he used to call some dude w/whom he went to school, call him up to whatever podium when he was busy using taxpayers’ money making speeches?

anyway (forgot the dude’s name) this asshole (bush) would ask him what his educational degrees were and then the moron would go on and his dumbass punchline would always be ‘and look who’s president now’ (paraphrased). *shudder*

h) if the ‘war on drugs’ were recognised as the governmental money-making farce it is.

i) if the proportion of people of color in America’s prisons paralleled the proportion of those walking about freely outside.

j) if politics weren’t such a down and dirty business and every political candidate for whatever position truly reflected the common man/woman.

k) if those who’ve ever touched a child improperly would be immediately recognised and thrown into prison. for life. same goes for those who’ve abused animals in any way.

l) if money didn’t ‘talk’.

m) if everyone were truly equal and people didn’t judge others on their outward appearances, age, color and/or their incomes.

n) if ignorant motherfuckers would STFU already about gays, blacks and anyone different than they are.

o) if everyone over 12 volunteered at least some of their time on a weekly basis to whatever charity. this would not only help those who need it but it’d maybe change the perception of volunteerism (at least in the States like when some white-collar jerk gets busted and s/he has to volunteer time as part of the punishment). i myself volunteer at PDSA here (it’s a charity for poor people who can’t afford to take their pets for proper veterinary care).

in truth, i haven’t been there as much as i’d like lately due toworking as much as i can (i recently had a huge dental bill amongst other things and i’m sick and tired of taking the ShameTrain — the coach — to London) but i’m trying to save so i feel if anything happens, i have a liddle sump’n to fall back on. once i feel a bit more financially secure, i’m gonna begin turning down jobs to return to my old schedule at PDSA (told boss-dude about this already. bullshit ensued but i think i won).

p) shut down Gitmo immediately. yesterday. and hopefully there’d be lawyers from the ACLU or wherever w/class action suits against those responsible. yeah, i’m tawkin bu$hCo again (soz, my Brooklyn accent comes out bigtime the more pissed i get). }-(

q) if the nail that sticks out wasn’t the nail that gets pounded down.

What is your opinion of Oprah?

booor-ring! *in a Homer voice* i don’t particularly care for things aimed at women cause apart from not ever wanting a doll (i wantedelectric trains, trucks, airplane models, live animals and plush toys), i never related to women’s or girls’ magazines or shows or whatever. as well, books are my first drugs but what’s managed to slip beneath my radar (in re: her recommended books) i found to be ridiculous, unrealistic and misleading to women.

then again, i never watched her but i think i know enough about her to feel pretty damn sure that since she gave away (what was it? a new car?) those luxurious prizes to every audience member ages ago (they don’t talk about the luxury tax or whatever it’s called they all had to pay), i’ll bet (and i ain’t a bettin’ man) there hasn’t been an audience member or prospective one who hasn’t wished she’d do it again when s/he were there in the audience.

there’s shameless self-promo and there’s Oprah/’Lady Bountiful’. believe me, the mileage she got out of her magnanimous bullshit gesture was the kinda publicity money can’t buy. i’d feel a bit more kindly toward her if she’d kept it all to herself, actually; maybe swore the audience to secrecy. *mirthless laughter* oh, and paid the damn taxes for everyone on the receiving end.

Do you dance?

oh yes, and like nobody’s watching. i used to teach dancing, actually, and i’ve choreographed back-up dancers long before madonna et al haddem. LOL, i’d have loved it if you asked about /her/. *snigger*

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

hmmpf… ‘products’. i dunno, actually. do you want brand names? Bic pens, i guess. i think they call em ‘biros’ here (not sure). i guess dildoes do but i’ve never used em or anything of that nature, actually.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

place in which i’m fortunate enough to be living now — my dream come true: England (where i saw more rainbows the first Summer i lived here than i’d seen in my lifetime in the States).

What is the most interesting thing about you?

i’ve been called ‘the real-life Zelig’ cause w/o doing anything special, i just happened to be at the right place/right time in many situations in the rock & roll/punk world and was friends w/a lot of people before they got famous e.g., i went to HS w/John Ginzales who became Johnny Thunders, went to two HSs w/Chris Stein (of Blondie fame; he was part of our Greenvich Village crew); had dinner at Max’s Kansas City w/my friends the night Andy Warhol sent one of his minions over to our table to ask my GF Little Patti to meet him (she eventually became the mainstream actress Patti d’Arbanville after she appeared in some of Andy’s films and Francesco Scavullo’s book On Beauty); was at Altamount right up front when that dude got killed; was onstage w/the Rolling Stones at their first gig in NYC (a long hilarious story); rioted in the streets before the PTB relented and gave the Clash the sold-out ten day or two-week run they deserved and thanks to the attorneys for whom i worked, was invited to their hotelroom every night to hang out after the gig; stuff like that.

Do you ski?

not anymore, thank hell. thanks to being engaged to a Wall Street broker (yup, ‘unbe-fuckin-lievable’ [from A Fish Called Wanda]) who drove a Harley, i’ve been too many times (vermont, colorado, upstate NY et al) and hated it (the cold, the waking-up-early bit, the fat clothing, the entire scene).

Describe yourself in five words.

i’m an unrepentant punk — totally.

/rx

http://written-by-a-nobody.blogspot.com/

http://rimone.org

@slum_goddess

Name:

Meagan Clark aka Dirty_Snowflake

Hometown:

Austin, TX

What is your occupation?

Good question. When projects permit, in TV, I am a creative producer/line producer; in Film, I am a UPM (Unit Production Manager). Currently, I am a porntrepreneur which means I edit and write two porn websites: taintedcupcake.com and hentaicupcake.com.  My twitter bio says I am a professional freelance human being which is the shorthand way of saying all that other stuff.

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

Working my way up from an intern on Space Ghost Coast to Coast and breaking into the boy’s club of Toonami and Adult Swim where I worked for 5 years.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

I got to travel a lot because of my scholarships and grades, so I guess it would be getting to spend 6 weeks at the U.N. in NYC learning all about the political hotspots of the world. Also, spending my last semester of college in London writing my thesis and actually finishing the damn thing amidst all the partying.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?

Well, I am a new mama as of a month ago, so I am most proud of making a human being with my body, my beautiful and darling daughter, Maeve Lilim.

What is your favorite word?

I am a BIG fan of words.  English Major in my undergrad and Communications in my post graduate work. You could probably ask me this question every single day, and I would have a different answer every time. Right this second, I guess my favorite word would be “lithe”. It just slides off the tongue and has a pleasant mouth feel as well as conjuring up the very thing it describes just by the way it sounds.

What is your least favorite word?

This however is a constant. I loathe the word “nekkid”.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

Hmmm, this is a tough one. If it was my last meal, I would go big and have escargot to start, a veal chop (no guilt if it’s your last meal) with basil butter on top, fresh kale with garlic, sliced heirloom tomatoes, a REAL handmade Caesar salad, some sourdough rolls with fresh butter and tiramisu for dessert. Simple, rich flavorful food with a Stag’s Leap Petite Syrah and some B&B Cognac for after dinner. I am a total foodie.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

Right now, it’s eating cupcakes and laying in bed every morning ’til noon with my infant daughter.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

A pair of kick ass cowboy boots, they are read with black and white swirls down the sides. I bought them for $6 at a thrift store in Atlanta, and every single time I wear them someone comments on them and tells me they are fantastic boots. They look super expensive, but they are really 9 West.

When do you feel happiest?

Right now, I am happiest having my baby girl sleep against my heart. Also, a good book (scifi) and a hot bath go a long ways toward making me a happy person.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

Dune by Frank Herbert. My copy has notes written in all the margins. He researched that book for 7 years before he wrote it, and it literally blew my mind.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

Wow.  That’s a tough one. Hmmm. I would say Michelle Pfeiffer. She’s a phenomenal  actress, and she’s gorgeous. Oh vanity!

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

I’ve gotten to hit a lot of my “bucket list” already, but of course there is always more to do. I would like to:

1) Play the part of Blanche DuBois in a Streetcar Named
Desire

2) Kiss someone on the top of the Eiffel Tower at night in the
Springtime

3) produce a movie version of Jhonen Vasquez’s 2-part comic book,
“I Feel Sick”

4) Write a novel

5) Check out the Pyramids in Egypt

The world would be a better place if…

we weren’t all so selfish and greedy and took responsibility for all of our actions.

What is your opinion of Oprah?

She’s a fantastic business woman, a GREAT actress, and a left-hander (go southpaws!), but I must confess I do not
watch her talk show. Never really have, it’s just not my cup of tea.

Do you dance?

Not as much or as often as I should. I used to make up choreographed dances in my bedroom and living room. I was in ballet and tap. I loved dancing so much, and then we moved to a rural area of NM, and it just kind of faded away. I’ve been known to dance it up at a rave or two in my time, but the older I get the less I dance. I find this phenomenon quite sad and a trifle disturbing.

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

The Ionic toothbrush. It was an As Seen on TV product, but that thing *worked*. You could actually see the gunk it was pulling off your teeth, and people would always ask me how I kept my teeth so white.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

The Greek Isle of Naxos.

What is the most interesting thing about you?

I don’t believe in organized religion but practice my own strange form of spirituality that started with me sneaking out of the house at 16 at 3am and dancing naked by myself in the wilderness of New Mexico, in a cup of stars surrounded by the mountains with the coyotes howling in accompaniment.

Do you ski?

Hell yes. I grew up 10 minutes from a ski area. I used to have trick skis and could ski backwards on them and do jumps.

Describe yourself in five words.

paradoxical, quixotic, hard-headed, independent, inexplicable

Name:

Megan, alias “Iggy”

Hometown:

Define “hometown.” I generally answer Honolulu, where I was born, or Kailua, where we actually lived when I was born, but really my hometown is the US Navy. I grew up on base, so I get that “hometown” sense of familiarity from being on military bases.

What is your occupation?

Twin wrangler.

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

I worked on the American Expedition to Petra.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

I got my master’s with a 3.95 GPA when my boys were very young (started when they were 5 months old).

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?

I have managed to not kill my husband after 8 years of marriage.

What is your favorite word?

I’m very fond of the word “sgarbato,” which means “rude” in Italian and is very satisfying to say to people.

What is your least favorite word?

I absolutely hate the C word.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

Really, really good pepperoni pizza and breadsticks, and cheesecake.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

Reading trashy romance novels.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

I have a fantastic vintage pair of turquoise heels with adorable little bows on the ankle strap and polka-dot trim.

When do you feel happiest?

In the mornings. On the beach. Alone, or when my kids are with me but asleep.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

Oooh hard one. I’m going to go with the first Terry Pratchett book I read, which was “Moving Pictures.” For some reason, it gave me the feeling as if the top of my head had come off, or I had just looked up for the first time and saw there was a sky. I got the same feeling the first time I saw Fat Chance Belly Dance perform and the first time I went to an SCA event.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

Drew Barrymore.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

Tour Europe, take my kids to Egypt and Jordan, move home to Hawaii, get a doctorate, and have a novel published.

The world would be a better place if…

I were allowed to have a phaser cannon on my car.

What is your opinion of Oprah?

I secretly love her, but don’t actually watch her show any more. I’m often a dichotomy like that.

Do you dance?

Yes! I’ve been belly dancing for thirteen years, professionally for eleven, and currently am the creative director for Les Fleurs Ébènes. I was on the folk dance team in college, and also did hula and Irish step dancing, though now I only do all those for fun now and then. I taught medieval and Renaissance dances in the Society for Creative Anachronism, and was the baronial dance mistress for about two years. I love to dance.

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

At the moment I’m pretty impressed by Behr paint, especially compared to Kilz.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

Hawaii. Hanauma Bay.

What is the most interesting thing about you?

Probably the belly dancing.

Do you ski?

Nope. I’m not into cold weather.

Describe yourself in five words.

Eclectic. Loud. Smart. Round. Colorful.

 

Name:  

Melissa Baswell

Hometown:  

Chicago, IL (After 12 years of living coast to coast, I ended up back in sweet home Chicago two and a half years ago.  And I am certain that my reason for this decision will become clear to me again once the dirty snow finally melts and spring arrives.)

What is your occupation?  

Sustainable Fashion Designer.  (On the side, I also work as a freelance designer and stylist for bands and events in the music industry).

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?  

A dress that I designed and created from recycled candy wrappers was exhibited at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago last fall.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?  

Somehow I graduated in the top 10% of my class from the University of Wisconsin-Madison despite my habit of going out and staying out very late almost every night of my senior year.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?  

I lived and volunteered at the Tibetan Buddhist Cultural Center in Bloomington, Indiana for three years, and was able to meet His Holiness the Dalai Lama because of this.  It was my dream come true.  I will continue to work for Tibetan rights for the rest of my life if necessary.

What is your favorite word?  

Moon.  It was my first word as a baby and has continued to find ways to play a major role in my life ever since.  (My clothing label is called Mountains of the Moon, and every year for Christmas, my mom buys me something with a moon on it).

What is your least favorite word?  

Metronidazole.  It’s an antibiotic that, despite my objections, was administered to my dog at a very high dosage by an incompetent vet and almost killed him.  Long story, but Leary the wonder dog is okay, and several thousands of dollars in emergency care later, I will never again allow that medication to come in contact with anyone I love.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

 Tibetan Chura momos, yellow curry w/tofu, orange Fanta (the kind they have in Belgium that tastes like sparkling orange juice), and Crème Brulee with raspberries.  Oh, and a stiff Patron Margarita, with salt.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?  

I love candy.  I can down an entire bag of sour patch kids in one sitting.  If there is candy in the house, I often have to ask my boyfriend to hide it from me.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.  

I would say it’s a tie between my Earth Shoe boots I’ve had for years (they have this very boho-looking floral embroidery up the sides and are incredibly comfortable) tied with my metallic buckeled flats that I wear way too often.  I absolutely love heels (especially booties lately) but even as a fashion designer, comfort comes first.

When do you feel happiest?

When I am home relaxing with my boyfriend Robbie and my 13 year-old black lab/chow mix Leary.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.  

A Simple Path by His Holiness the Dalai Lama.  Read it.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?  

I am slightly obsessed with Audrey Hepburn, so if she was still living, I’d choose her for certain.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?  

Travel to Tibet

become a mother

grow my own garden (I didn’t exactly inheret my mother’s

green thumb)

convince my little sister Morgan to move back to Chicago,

buy land in Costa Rica or somewhere else beautiful and warm and live as simply as possible (something I haven’t ever figured out how to do).

The world would be a better place if…

…people stopped worrying so much about other people’s religions, sexual preferences, and lives in general, and each individual instead focused more on making him or herself a better person.

What is your opinion of Oprah?  

I admire her drive, generousity and intelligence.  I also think that she really, really needs to feature some Mountains of the Moon clothing on her show, ya know, just in case anyone reading this has any Oprah connections.

Do you dance?  

Constantly.  My boyfriend works for a band, so I’m sort of obligated.  I also studied ballet and modern dance on and off for 17 years and always found myself to be slightly awkward in my abilities (but I didn’t care).  Dancing is the best release in existence.

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?  

Hemp fabric.  I use many different types of sustainable fabrics in my designs, but hemp is truly the ultimate eco-friendly fiber.  And despite the stereotypes, it can be used to make some of the most high fashion pieces of clothing you’ll ever see.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?  

Costa Rica is by the far the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.  If I had to pick a more urban place, I’d say it’s a tie between Paris and Amsterdam.

What is the most interesting thing about you?  

As I young child, I was helplessly, painfully shy.  In first grade, I sat by myself in a corner at recess every single day until my teacher finally forced me to choose someone to play with (I ended up chosing my friend Erin, who went on to be my college roomate and still continues to be one of closest friends).  This is interesting because “shy” is no longer a word that anyone could possibly use to describe me.

Do you ski?

No, unless you count the one time I’ve been cross country skiing.  When I lived in Colorado, I tried snowboarding a couple of times, but it didn’t work out so well.  I’m a summer girl.  Give me some sunshine and flowers and I’m happy.

Describe yourself in five words.

Driven, creative, passionate, fun, self-critical

Name:
Shopping Golightly

Hometown:
Denver, Colorado

What is your occupation?
Mommy. Blogger/writer, The Thrifty Chicks and Mommy Golightly

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?
Securing my first $10K donation for The Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?
Winning first prize in the Illinois Department of Health AIDS Reporting contest on a co-authored feature with a recovered heroin addict.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?
Being honest, even when it’s really hard.

What is your favorite word?
Children.

What is your least favorite word?
Waste.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?
The saffron risotto my husband makes.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?
Giggling about things I shouldn’t with my girlfriends.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.
Black Via Spigas with wide heels so I don’t wobble.

When do you feel happiest?
When my family sits around a warm campfire after a day of hiking and exploring the forest.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.
Three Cups of Tea

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?
Johnny Depp in drag or Jodi Foster.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

See the Northern Lights.

Watch beavers working on their lodge and dams.

See wild moose.

Play with my grandchildren.

Wholly accept praise.

The world would be a better place if…
Humans had not invented waste.

What is your opinion of Oprah?
What? A woman dedicated to educating young girls in Africa? I love her. Though I do wish she’d host fewer celebrities. Unless it’s something philanthropic, I really don’t care what Tom Cruise is doing.

Do you dance?
Is there anyone who doesn’t?

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?
Tooth paste, I don’t have any cavities.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?
The Adirondacks in Northern New York

What is the most interesting thing about you?
That’s for me to know and you to find out.

Do you ski?
Cross-country though it’s been awhile.

Describe yourself in five words.
I laugh at myself often.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Name:

Rachel Ann Angel

Hometown:

I’m still searching for it.  I’ll meet a nice Irish guy someday who’ll play me rollicking tunes and whisk me away to the green, green hills.

What is your occupation?

My real job is pushing papers in a job so spectacularly unsuited for me it isn’t even funny.  But honestly, I’m a musician and a writer.  I write songs (lyrics and music) and am working on a fiction novel.

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

I’ve managed to hold my head up and get raises in a very math-oriented job for 8 years despite barely being able to add or subtract.

 What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

I just got accepted to the Masters in Counseling program!

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?

Choosing to leave and not looking back, and living on my own as a single mom without the support of family.

What is your favorite word?

Possibilities

What is your least favorite word?

Stop

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

Oh, this is almost impossible since I’m a real foodie.  Okay, I think I’d plan up a few courses:

1) hearts of palm and radicchio salad with shaved gruyere cheese

2) filet of beef tenderloin with stroganoff potatoes

3) cream of broccoli soup

4) creme brulee, chocolate sauce on the side, and homemade vanilla bean ice cream

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

My long, hot baths (at least 2 hours) every single night.  I spend money I don’t have on bath products because it reminds me that I’m still a girl.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

I have a pair of red strappy 4″ heels with a rhinestone clasp that just make me happy.

When do you feel happiest?

When I’ve decided to make a major change in my life.  The possibilities!

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

Eat, Pray, Love came at a time when I was searching for meaning and trying to leave my husband at the same time.  It was probably just the timing, but wow! what a coincidence.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

Susan Sarandon

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

Travel to Ireland, play Carnegie Hall, have a best selling book, hear one of my songs on the radio, and hold my first grandchild

The world would be a better place if…

People realizes that differences can be empowering; we don’t need to be right, just respected.

 What is your opinion of Oprah?

I was on the Oprah bandwagon for a few years, but I’m concerned by her stance on parenting and a few other key issues.  I think for the most part she’s lost touch with reality and how normal people without millions of dollars live.  I’d love to see her putting sizeable amounts of money into the homeless population in Chicago, or getting women back to work, or supporting a halfway house for abused women and children.

Do you dance?

Very, very badly.  I have great rhythm when I play music, but I can’t make my butt obey!

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

Rimmel mascara.  Hands down, that stuff is the shit.  And it’s $4!

 What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

Estes Park, CO, in 1997.  I chose a day that was going to snow, walked through the town with my sister, saw the resident moose lumber into the town, and got to see the hotel where they filmed The Shining.  It is truly a glorious, magical place.

What is the most interesting thing about you?

I have no hidden agendas; I’m always suprised by people who do.

Do you ski?

Not since my oldest sister pushed me down a mogul hill when I was 12.  Luckily I didn’t break anything.

Describe yourself in five words.

Passionate, committed, idealistic, fiery, and opinionated.

Name:

Al Tepper

Hometown:

London

What is your occupation?

Head of Marketing for NaturalCollection.com

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

Launching ooffoo.com

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

My 1998 MPhil dissertation: Go forth & inform: the role of the publisher in the post-information age

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?

Becoming a dad

What is your favorite word?

Namaste

What is your least favorite word?

Hate

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

Lentil Dhal, Mushroom Risotto, Cookie Dough ice cream, Ginger Beer

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

Food!

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

Airwalks

When do you feel happiest?

Hearing my son howl with laughter when I tickle him.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

Tying Rocks to Clouds by William Elliott

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

Danny Devito

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

Be healthy, Watch my son get old and have a family, See India from the back of an elephant, See Gaia from space & Know the truth about intelligent life elsewhere

The world would be a better place if…

humanity grew up

What is your opinion of Oprah?

Incredible human being with immense power and a humble sense of responsibility for that power

Do you dance?

Not as well or as much as I probably should…

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

my iphone

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

The Highlands of Scotland

What is the most interesting thing about you?

I did a polar bear dip on 01/01/2000 on Inverness beach, off the western coast of Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, Canada

Do you ski?

Yes but prefer to board although its been a long time.

Describe yourself in five words.

Enthusiastic. Empathic. Fair. Witty. Peaceful.

Name:

Freda Mary Mooncotch(I was named after both of my grandma’s)

Hometown:

Countryside

What is your occupation?

Founder of AlphaWomen.com

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

AlphaWomen.com

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

My studies of history and religion. I am fascinated with history and love Bible stories.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?

My son.

What is your favorite word?

Fuck because it can really mean anything when used the right way!

What is your least favorite word?

“Can’t” I hate the word Can’t– it means you don’t want to and refuse to think outside of the box.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

Chicken Vindaloo.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

2inches, hot pink and silver, platformish, open toed, strappy and sexy as all get out.

When do you feel happiest?

When I am taking care of myself and staying true to me.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

The Bible.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

Angelina Jolie.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

Go to DJ school, Salsa dancing lessons or Dancing with the Stars, see the 7 wonders of the world, fall in love, learn how to professionally race cars, learn how to fly.

The world would be a better place if…

people would be who they say they are.

What is your opinion of Oprah?

She has my respect. She is one hell of a woman.

Do you dance?

Hell Yeah! If you can’t dance how can you have good sex?

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

ME!

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

Sunset and drive up to Mackinac Island from Petosky in the fall!

What is the most interesting thing about you?

My personality

Do you ski?

Snow and Water!

Describe yourself in five words.

Intelligent, open, exciting, playful, sexy

Name:

SARA SEUMAE

Hometown:

MERCER ISLAND, WA (PRETTY MUCH SEATTLE)

What is your occupation?

MOM, WIFE, CLOTHING DESIGNER, BUSINESS OWNER

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

I STARTED SPUN WITHOUT A LICK OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT DESIGNING OR MAKING CLOTHES. WE ARE GETTING READY TO CELEBRATE OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY IN FEBRUARY AND IT’S BEEN QUITE A LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL EVENTHOUGH I HAD A REALLY “COOL” OLDER BOYFRIEND AT THE TIME AND ALWAYS SKIPPED SCHOOL TO HANG OUT WITH HIM.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?

MY LITTLE GIRLS AND THE ABILITY TO NOT KILL MY HUSBAND ON AN ALMOST DAILY BASIS. MEN ARE SO ANNOYING SOMETIMES!

What is your favorite word?

REALLY?!?

What is your least favorite word?

C*NT AND PANTIES.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

ANY AND ALL PERSIAN FOOD

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

TOTINOS PIZZA ROLLS. THEY ARE SO BAD FOR YOU BUT SO YUMMY!

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

BALLET FLATS AND UGG BOOTS, EQUALLY

When do you feel happiest?

WHEN I’M AT DISNEYLAND WITH MY SISTER. CHURROS IN HAND AND THERE ARE NO LINES FOR RIDES!

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

“A SHOT IN THE DARK”. IT’S ABOUT THE WHOOPING COUGH VACCINATION AND HOW IT MAKES KIDS SICK. IT’S PRETTY MUCH ONE OF THE SCARIEST BOOKS A PARENT COULD READ.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

COURTNEY COX A LA MONICA ON FRIENDS BECAUSE THAT CHARACTER IS TOTALLY ME!

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

VISIT IRAN, ATTEND BOTH MY DAUGHTERS WEDDINGS, MEET THEIR FUTURE CHILDREN, ATTEND MY SISTERS WEDDING, MEET HER FUTURE CHILDREN

The world would be a better place if…

EVERYONE REALIZED THAT IRAN ISN’T FILLED WITH SAND AND CAMELS. AND THAT MOST PERSIANS AREN’T CRAZY.

What is your opinion of Oprah?

I LOVE HER. I THINK SHE’S SMART AND BEAUTIFUL. I WOULD LOVE TO MEET HER AND CONGRATULATE HER ON BEING SUCH AN INSPIRATION TO SO MANY PEOPLE.

Do you dance?

ONLY WHEN VERY DRUNK OR TRYING TO MAKE MY GIRLS LAUGH.

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

NIVEA BODY LOTION. MAKES MY SKIN OH SO SOFT WITHOUT THE PARABENS!

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

KAUI, HAWAII

What is the most interesting thing about you?

THAT I’M EXTREMELY CLOSE TO MY PARENTS AND SISTER. WE LEFT IRAN DURING THE IRAN/IRAQ WAR WHEN I WAS JUST 8 YEARS OLD. WE SURVIVED THE DAILY BOMBINGS AND MADE A LIFE HERE BY STICKING TOGETHER. WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT AND I LOVE THEM SOOO MUCH!

Do you ski?

NOPE. I TRIED IT TWICE AND I JUST CAN’T GET MY BODY TO DO WHAT IT SHOULD.

Describe yourself in five words.

PASSIONATE, CARING, FUNNY, ETERNALLY LOYAL

Name:

Victoria Ellen Everman

Hometown:

Born in Crawfordsville, Indiana; living in San Francisco, CA; moving back to West Hartford, CT on January 14th, 2009

What is your occupation?:

Freelance writer, model, and environmentalist – thinking about becoming a certified yoga teacher

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

Just this month, I received my first magazine feature-length assignment – it will be out in the August 2009 issue of Yoga Journal.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?:

Leaving high school early and finishing on my own through a long-distance program.  Traditional educational programs in classrooms usually bore the crap out of me. There was a number of folks worried about my choice, but I was confident it was the right choice and still believe that.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?:

Being able to leave the house. It may sound like a small accomplishment, but just 2-3 years ago, I couldn’t even do that. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety after nearly 2 years of counseling nearly a decade ago. Though I do take a prescription medication, no pill can solve people’s problems – I had to take my sanity into my own hands and have found deep breathing, yoga, and freelance work to be my
saving grace.

What is your favorite word?:

Balance – we could all use more of it.

What is your least favorite word?:

Moist … it is just strange. There is no way to say it without it sounds obscene (not that being obscene is always bad, haha).

What would you choose as your “last meal”?:

Anything cooked by my mom – being around my family during my last moments is all I can ask for.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?:

It used to be pedicures (which I got once a month, no matter how poor I was), but now it is all-natural and vegan desserts – I have a terrible sweet tooth!

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.:

None. I used to own a lot of shoes – you know, being a model you can’t help but be inundated in fashion – but now, I only have 5-6 pairs. My first choice would be to be outside, with my feet in direct contact with the Earth.

When do you feel happiest?:

Spending time with my boyfriend after practicing yoga – I am so very at peace.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.:

Dr. Seuss’ “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” – my mom loves Dr. Seuss and read all of his books to me when I was a kid. Unannounced to me, listening (and later reading) his stories helped to instill my passion for nature, food, and diversity.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?:

Nicole Kidman, probably – I’m not the biggest fan of her work, but thousands of people say I look a bit like her. Knowing how well she likes to research her roles, I bet she could pull off my mental breakdown 8 years ago with great accuracy.

What would you like to do before you die?:

1) Go on a volunteer vacation

2) Visit Sweden

3) Visit France

4) Write a book

The world would be a better place if…:

There were no -isms

What is your opinion of Oprah?:

She’s great, but I’d love to see her do even more for the environment. She is truly the most well-known African American woman alive today and, most of the time, she uses that position for many good things.

Do you dance?:

Of course! I spent 3-4 years studying dance and can’t help but move my hips with I hear music. Now-a-days, the only place that I dance is around my apartment since I’m not into clubs. My boyfriend doesn’t dance unless he has a few drinks in him, but he is good, though he doesn’t believe me no matter how much I tell him.

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?:

Desert Essence’s Blemish Touch Stick – I know it is something small and seems insignificant, but it is has changed my skin!

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?:

Ohhhh, tough one. Vienna, Austria is beyond gorgeous and I’d live there in a heartbeat.

What is the most interesting thing about you?:

You’re asking the wrong person about that, haha! Probably my drive – I’ve failed countless times and while it does derail me for a bit, I get right back up and try something else. I still have no idea where it comes from and I don’t even notice it until someone else points it out. Notable failures: architecture, painting, singing, gymnastics, college student, office worker … etc.

Do you ski?:

No, but my boyfriend loves snowboarding, which I will be trying for the first time in 2009.

Describe yourself in five words.:

Creative, centered, curious, flexible, driven

Victoria Everman :: Sustainable, Creative, Enlightened Living
http://victoria-e.com/
San Francisco/Connecticut

Name:  Charles Orlando

Hometown:  Easy Bay Area, CA

What is your occupation?  Author, Speaker, Consultant

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?
It depends on the “career” to which you are referring!    As a marketing executive, I was very instrumental in bringing a web conferencing company public in 2000… and I’ve helped launch a number of other software companies. But when it comes to my real passion, I’m the proudest of writing and launching my recent book: The Problem with Women… is Men: The Evolution of a Man’s Man to a Man of Higher Consciousness

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?
I suppose my proudest moment was not only being admitted into Mensa, but also being asked to serve as the Activities Officer for the San Francisco region.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?
My friendship and marriage with my wife, Tina. She is be far the most straight-up, honest, loyal, and insightful person I have ever had the privilege of talking to, and I’m grateful we met.

What is your favorite word?
Any word with four letters, that is unacceptable in mixed company. Those works are steeped in emotion, and come in handing in a variety of situations: happy/ecstatic, upset, passionate… the list goes on an on.

What is your least favorite word?
Mischievous… not because it’s a word I don’t like, but because I can’t STAND how people mispronounce it as: mis-chee-vee-ous. Ugh! (Sorry, I guess I suffer from a mild case of “word rage”. I’m okay now… <breathe, Charles.>)

What would you choose as your “last meal”?
Sushi… no question. Bring on the maguro sashimi!

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?
Long, HOT showers… they can’t really get long enough or hot enough.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes:
For me? I have a great pair of black Aldo boots that I’m currently in love with—not to mention they provide 1-1/2″ of additional height, so I’m not reaching up on my tippy-toes to put money in the parking meter… 

When do you feel happiest?
With my family, and it doesn’t matter what we are doing—watching a movie, romping through Disneyland, playing a board game, talking about life, helping with homework, cooking…

Name one book that changed your perception of the world:
There are two: Fire in the Belly by Sam Keen helped start my growth into becoming a better person and man; and The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster, which reminds me that NOTHNG is boring… every day is a new adventure, and everyone has  something to learn and something to teach others.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?
Johnny Depp.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?
Write a book (check!), renew my wedding vows on the beach on Hawaii, see my kids find their niche and their happiness, pick one day per year as a “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” Day, and to read The Phantom Tollbooth to my grandkids.

The world would be a better place if…
people listened more than they spoke, and they didn’t rush to judgment based on their own prejudices.

What is your opinion of Oprah?
A kind, giving lady who wants to do something positive for the world. She is the first one to “do” something rather than just pontificate or strategize with empty results.

Do you dance?
Absolutely…

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?
My MacBook Air… <sigh> LOVE that computer!

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?
Beauty is subjective, so this is kind of a trick question.   That said, the most physically beautiful location I’ve been to is the Big Island of Hawai’i.

What is the most interesting thing about you?
That I have a multitude of interests and projects running at the same time, and somehow it all works out.

Do you ski?
No. But I would if I ever found time to plummet down a slick, white hill while avoiding multiple bone fractures (gained simply from falling down). 

Describe yourself in five words.
Passionate. Sarcastic. Creative. Loyal. Evolving.

Name:  Helen
Hometown:  Middlesbrough/Edinburgh, UK and Dublin, Ireland.

What is your occupation?
Co-founder of Catwalk Genius.

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?
Having Catwalk Genius mentioned in Time magazine. That was a good day.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?
Mastering the drum part of Beastie Boys’ ‘Sabotage’ on Rock Band. And, to a lesser extent, my Psychology degree.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?
Throwing myself out of an aeroplane, with no discernable injury or death.

What is your favorite word?
Mumps.

What is your least favorite word?
Clump.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?
2 Cornish Pasties and a vat of red wine. I’ll finish myself off before anyone else has the chance.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?
‘So You Think You Can Dance’. Reality TV of the laziest kind, but there’s no denying that those kids can move.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.
My blue converse trainers. All shoes shred my feet, but those have been nothing but kind for a lot of years.

When do you feel happiest?
When sleeping in late. Especially on a week day, when everyone else is at work.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.
Maverick by Ricardo Semler. The definitive guide to how work should work.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?
I’d like to think Jeff Bridges circa The Big Lebowski would be well suited.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?
1. Befriend a wild monkey.
2. Retire.
3. Come out of retirement to pacify my distraught fanbase.
4. Embark on a 6-year ‘farewell’ tour of the world’s major sporting arenas.
5. Teach the monkey calculus.

The world would be a better place if…
…Governments and companies stopped using late 19th century management theory as the basis for organising themselves.

What is your opinion of Oprah?
Love her, but hate the pseudo-science peddled by some of her guests. See Exhibit A.

Do you dance?
You should see me go. I have medals.

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?
Guitar Hero. By far the safest way to achieve heroic status.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?
The Scottish highlands.

What is the most interesting thing about you?
I can bend the space/time continuum at will and I’m actually typing this a week on Tuesday.

Do you ski?
With this nose?

Describe yourself in five words.
May contain traces of awesome.

Name: Grechen Cohen

Hometown: I’ve lived in Atlanta for most of my life: I was born in Indiana, then moved to Florida, and ended up in Atlanta.

What is your occupation? blogger, writer, shopper

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of? that thousands of women visit my websites everyday, and then come back…

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of? throwing the curve in my macroeconomics class full of men in undergrad. they all thought they were so brilliant…

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of? my business

What is your favorite word? my name

What is your least favorite word? fair

What would you choose as your “last meal”? spaghetti & vegan meatballs, with lots of marinara sauce

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure? jelly belly sour jelly beans and REALLY LONG HOT showers

Describe your favorite pair of shoes. right now, my UGGs.  I used to be a hater until I tried them – they are the warmest, most comfortable shoes I wear in the Winter, although I try not to wear them “out” except to walk the dog…

When do you feel happiest? at the park, playing with my dog, on the couch watching “house” with my fiancee, and working

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.  Atlas Shrugged.  It didn’t really change my perception of the world – but it does inspire me to be a better, stronger, more moral, person every time I read it (right now I’m reading it again for the seventh time)

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you? lol, maybe parker posey? I have a girl-crush on her.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die? travel more. travel everywhere.

The world would be a better place if…everyone were more “conscious” more often, and if we all took more personal responsibility for our actions (and inactions)

What is your opinion of Oprah? I admire her success as a business woman and as a motivator.

Do you dance? not really…

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims? kiehl’s creme de corps body lotion.  the best ever.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been? in and around the Dead Sea in Israel.

What is the most interesting thing about you? I’m fiercely independent and more than your average girl.

Do you ski? no way. I’m a clutz.

Describe yourself in five words. realistic, free, cute, innovative, loving, objective

Name:  Ina Subramanian

Hometown: I’d call Manhattan my hometown as it’s the only place I’ve ever really felt at home. Does that count though, given I was raised in Erie, PA and currently reside in Cincinnati, Ohio.  Good, then NYC it is!

What is your occupation?  Chief Creative Director of Home and Founder of M641 Clothing www.madras641.com

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?  That I had the grit to uproot myself from a comfortzone in order to pursue my dream of moving to NYC, work for a Fortune something hundred company and establish myself…all by myself.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?  Having completed my college degree as a returning adult student while undergoing simultaneous tragedies and working full-time.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of? I’m still here!

What is your favorite word?  Effervescent – doesn’t that conjure up all kinds of positivity?

What is your least favorite word? No

What would you choose as your “last meal”? A crusty bread with an olive oil dipping sauce, penne done with alfredo sauce, white wine, then red wine and a slice of chocolate cheesecake, then more red wine.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure? Vampire Fiction and/or Anne Rice Erotica

Describe your favorite pair of shoes. Naughty Monkey brand “4 Square” style. High, 3.5” textured faux leather pumps perched on a tapered heel. They have these great multicolored buckle straps. Oh and they provide ample toe cleavage!

When do you feel happiest? I appreciate the rare occasion to be surrounded by family and friends…laughing, reminiscing and telling sweet stories about my mom and dad.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world. The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield.  It simply reminds us that there are so many other places out there…both geographically and spiritually. I consider this as a novel…and not gospel. If read with an open mind, perhaps one feel more intrigued about their own journey.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?  Meg Ryan…She seems like a WYSIWYG kinda girl. It’s pretty easy to read her face Also she’s quirky, fun and often emotional.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?  Write a book, visit Greece, get to know my grandchildren, put aside enough wealth for my family and be nominated as the Interesting Person of the Week on a delightful blog!

The world would be a better place if … everyone respected the beliefs of others.

What is your opinion of Oprah? This falls under that guilty pleasure question.  I’ve been known to record the show. Honestly I feel like Oprah lacks a certain confidence that you would assume were there. I find this sometimes charming.  I feel like her guests are more comfortable width=’100%’ in her chairs than at other venues.  I’ve heard people say she could be racist..but I’ve seen her promote people from all walks of life.  I’m not going there.  She provides inspiring material most of the time and she’s a do-good-er. Still I wonder if she has the ability to see “real-world”.   Hmmm.

Do you dance?  All the time! Just finished dancing in the middle of my living room to Red, Red Wine with my two year old!

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims? M641 Clothing

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been? In that moment of “glad to meet you” while holding my newborn daughter for the very first time.

What is the most interesting thing about you? I have a true melancholy reflective personality.  Not in a depressive sad way, but in a real historical analytical kind of way.  I need to know details and background of things.

Do you ski?  Never have and not sure I ever will.  Bum knee + I don’t enjoy the cold or too many layers. Oh but I might go for the spiked hot chocolate!

Describe yourself in five words. I AM A HAPPY GIRL

Name: Starre Vartan

Hometown: Garrison, New York and Sydney, Australia

What is your occupation? Writer/Editor/Content Manager/Blogger/All Around Wordy Pain in the Ass.

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of? My book, The Eco Chick Guide to Life: How to Be Fabulously Green being reviewed in the New York Times’ Style Section.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of? Getting into Columbia University’s MFA program for nonfiction writing (I’ve completed classes and am working on turning in my thesis this Spring).

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of? Actively working on getting over my fear of public speaking.

What is your favorite word? fabulous

What is your least favorite word? conservative

What would you choose as your “last meal”? My grandma’s tabouli with pink champagne, a Spanish tapas spread (patatas bravas, spiced olives and tortilla espanol) with some Dogfish Head IPA, a raw cheese plate with sheep’s, cow’s, and goat’s milk selections with a Stoli martini, super-garlicky garlic bread, fresh artichoke hearts with butter sauce, fresh, ripe mango, papaya and coconut flesh, and a chocolate souffle with a black russian.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure? Gossip Girls and cider doughnuts from Vermont.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes. A tie between my metallic blue steel toe Doc Martens bought in London when I was 20 and my pink Camper fairy boots.

When do you feel happiest? When I’m in the woods, in the water, or writing.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world. Michael Pollan’s “The Botany of Desire”

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you? People say I look like Rachel Weisz, but I think Drew Barrymore has a more similar spirit to me.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die? Help bring forth the green revolution, learn to surf, publish a bestseller, live in Hawaii, own an electric car.

The world would be a better place if…we weren’t so fearful of change.

What is your opinion of Oprah? I think she’s an amazing, inspiring, imperfectly awesome woman.

Do you dance? Yes, to everything and anything. I’m pretty good too!

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims? Netflix!

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been? The Alhambra in Spain.

What is the most interesting thing about you? I have devised my own belief/moral system.

Do you ski? No, I’m a pretty damn good snowboarder though.

Describe yourself in five words. Passionate, independent, impatient, healthy, neurotic

Name: Holly Gorski

Hometown: I am a nomadic suburbanite who grew up roaming the strip malls and ample free parking of Washington, Texas & Utah.

What is your occupation?
Human Resources Director

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?
Last year I visited my previous workplace as a conference attendee. I said “Hi” to one of the employees working the floor and he stopped what he was doing, came over to me and said, “Please, come back.” I hadn’t seen him in three years. I don’t have one big accomplishment — I have a series of moments like this, where an employee says “thank you” or “I’ve never known an HR person like you.” These moments don’t outnumber the bureaucratic, head-banging ones in my daily job, but so far they outweigh them.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?
Graduating from college. I felt like that BA degree was my ticket to adulthood.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?
I have been my family’s sole breadwinner for nearly 4 years. For a long time it weighed on me, but I’m used to it now and I like that. I can handle it. I’m also finishing a novel, so I hope that if you ask me this question next year I can say “publishing my book!” But we’re not there yet.

What is your favorite word?
Published (a bit obsessed right now) or any synonym of “finished.”

What is your least favorite word?
Cunt

What would you choose as your “last meal”?
My Mom’s chicken enchiladas, cheesecake, and a really good red wine. Also we’d have to work chocolate in there somewhere.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?
The books of Laurell K. Hamilton. I have the same love-hate relationship with her novels that I have with Barbie (i.e., in spite of my loud and frequent complaints about its flaws, deep down I want that plastic pink dream house).

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.
I am not a shoe person. If they don’t hurt, are in decent shape and don’t loudly clash with my outfit, that’s good enough.

When do you feel happiest?
At home, laughing with my husband and children. Also every Christmas Eve at my Dad’s house and standing alone on the beach in Grayland, WA looking at the ocean.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.
The Giver by Lois Lowry.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?
They would have to create a genetic blend of Janeane Garofalo and Angelina Jolie to get it right. At least in my mind.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?
Support myself (& family) as a writer, become fluent in Spanish, travel to Spain, help my children grow into happy, fulfilled adults, and develop a deep, personal connection with Deity. Two of those I could take care of with a correspondence course and a credit card. The other three might take a little work.

The world would will be a better place if
when Barack Obama is President of the United States.

What is your opinion of Oprah?
When I worked for a bookstore in 1997 we used to say that if Oprah told everyone to wear red the next day, America would be a sea of red and we’d see how much power she really had. That was at the height of her book club and we felt it daily. I think her influence has only grown since then. I haven’t watched her show in years, but I’m aware of what she’s doing because I live in America.

Do you dance?
Yes! But unless we’re both drunk you can’t watch.

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?
The Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. (I think its secret is that it removes the top layer of whatever you’re cleaning, but I don’t clean often enough to notice any detrimental effects.)

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?
Edinburgh, Scotland

What is the most interesting thing about you?
My large extended family. We’ve got it all, from musical theater Mormons to Virginia moonshiners to expat Brits living in Florida. There are no skeletons in our closets; we prop them up in our living rooms proudly.

Do you ski?
Ha ha ha ha . . . no.

Describe yourself in five words.
Holly talks. With her hands.

Name: Linn
Hometown: Wichita, KS

What is your occupation?
Self-employed, Sorbetier Extraordinaire

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?
Finally finding what brings me joy and starting my own business from it.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?
I returned to college at the age of 39, in a grueling program of a two year degree accomplished in 8 months, graduating 3rd in my class, naturally with a 4.0 GPA. (proving to myself that in fact, I am a pretty smart cookie after-all)

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?
Dreaming my business into existence.

What is your favorite word?
Peace

What is your least favorite word?
War

What would you choose as your “last meal”?
My mom’s alcoholic chicken with new potatoes and mushrooms, spinach salad and cappuccino frozen yogurt.

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?
Dark chocolate, in combination with white chocolate.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.
Crocs

When do you feel happiest?
This is difficult, because I love the feeling of happiness and have many things that bring me joy. Happiest? Too many things come to mind: My grandchildren saying they love me. My dog showing affection (he’s very independent). My husband helping me on a project. Watching my garden grow. Making sorbet. Meditating in the stream of source energy, the river of well-being. Eating raw food. Everyday, finding something new to be amazed at. Occasionally, having a clean house.

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.
Oh boy – also a tough one. The first book that changed my perception of the world was Tales of Power by Carlos Castaneda, the last book that put me in an entirely different state of mind was Ask and It Is Given, Learning to Manifest Your Desires by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?
Meryl Streep

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?
Have my daughter’s love back in my life.
Go mountain hiking with my little sister.
Ride cross country on a horse. (a dream from my youth)
Let go of all prejudices.
Become a true mystic.

The world would be a better place if…
We all embraced the teachings of the Dalai Lama.

What is your opinion of Oprah?
I like her most of the time. She’s passionate and powerful. I don’t understand why so many people act like they hate her. It’s puzzling. Oprah helped me through several big issues and face my demons.

Do you dance?
Used to, alot. Hope to again. My husband doesn’t dance and I sort of lost my groove thing. My parents owned 5 Arthur Murray Dance Studios – so yes, I grew up dancing.

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?
My own, of course.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?
The most breathtaking vision was from the top of the world on the continental divide in the Rockies. My husband wept from the sheer majesty of it.

What is the most interesting thing about you?
Gosh – I don’t know! That I believe that we can do anything we put our minds to. That I can commune with the dead at times? That occasionally, I can read minds. I know – I get a little “out there” sometimes. I don’t know, I feel fairly accomplished and have a wealth of experiences. I’m a curious person by nature and love my life, generally. Keeping it simple, being grateful.

Do you ski?
Snow only. Bad experience on the water.

Describe yourself in five words.
Tall
Diva-ish (at times)
Fun-loving
Talkative
Knowitall (more accurate than Wise)