Name:

Nova Rimone Newman

a) i used to love my name until that band got famous. since then i most always have to give an explanation that goes roughly like ‘i had it first’ cause almost everyone i meet goes ‘ooh, like the ramones?’ sometimes i feel like carrying my passport around w/me cause it’s my real name.

b) i use my initials as a made-up acronym meaning No Reply Necessary cos i write very long emails and years ago, realised they overwhelm ppl who can’t type as fast as i can. so i let em off the hook w/that NRN, LOL.

Hometown:

Brooklyn, NYC

What is your occupation?

freelance proofreader and editor in both British and American English. as well, i’m able to do Usability reviews but managers would rather hire those not self-taught at a much higher rate than i charge; my biggest job was Bristol International Airport’s website.

What professional accomplishment are you most proud of?

went back to Uni when i was twice as old as the average student and got my Special Ed. degree, graduated w/honors and taught children w/ physical, emotional and learning disabilities (as well as counselled their parents) until we all realised my speciality was getting non-readers to not only read, but enjoy doing so.

What academic accomplishment are you most proud of?

Golden Key Honor Society at CUNY. i’m not really proud of it/never really gave it much thought but hey, it happened (Daddy was proud of it and had my certificate thingy laminated on a heavy wooden board. it languishes faced backwards on the floor right next to the toilet.

What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?

i’ve never been asked such a thing mostly cause i’ve never really accomplished anything worthwhile, apart from  ’school’ in general. um, i’m thinking… LOL, *wood burning*. OK, off the top of my head (you choose and please keep in mind i don’t consider any of these ‘accomplishments’):

a) Daddy taught me to read when i was 3 when i got my first library card and i’ve been keeping journals and still have most of them starting from before i was ten.

b) i’m on my favorite band’s last album.

c) i ran away from home when i was 9 (to California) thanks to the kindness of strangers and managed to evade the police for an entire blissful year where i caught the tail-end of the SF Beatnik movement (was present at poetry readings by ppl who became famous years later). years after that, kids began taking their parents to court and had i been aware it was possible, i would’ve done it: become an emancipated minor.

d) i was lead singer/bass player for a punk band called The Hardeners in NYC and New London, CT (named after some nailpolish stuff).

e) at 18, i was one of the star attractions of a run-down sleazy travelling carnival: the girl on the revolving circular board in a knife-throwing act. the costume was totally fantastic and i loved doing it but whoa, it took a lot of practise (not me, him; my exBF: the knife-thrower). during the act, all i had to do was wear this fabaroo costume and stay as still as i could.

whilst he practised w/my outline chalked on the wheel, i was on a 2nd wheel, practising not getting dizzy at any speed. we agreed beforehand that i’d be the judge of when he was ready to rehearse w/ me (when there were totally no knife-point marks w/i my chalk outline for four solid weeks). hahaha, i just remembered: after he could do it, i chalked the outline two inches further in and made him do it that way for a week or so (whoa, he was so pissed off at me but hey). the most difficult bit was he had to stay straight all day (apart from half a bottle of wine at lunch, he’d not drink or anything until the act was over every night). i mean, i might be stupid but i’m not crazy. well, not /that/ crazy.

f) i was once an actual workaholic (dealt reefer at night, had a straight job during the day, owned a jewelry shop called Silversmythe, was a high-class escort (euphemism for prostitute); all for reasons due to drugs and no one was the wiser cause i was intelligent about it (never stole from people or bosses or my friends and made it into work every day no matter how i felt).

g) this isn’t really an accomplishment per se (neither are any of the others) but when i was really young and got into British bands, i had the brains to determine it was a far better thing to try to be their friend than to bed em down. i mean, y’know, i saw chicks whom i thought were my friends disappear into whomever’s bedroom at whatever hotel in NYC. we’d come back the next day and these poor chicks… well, in brief, they were shocked, dismayed and angry (at me!1!) when i was greeted like an old friend and they were treated like shit (none of them ever spoke to me again and they’d beat the crap outta me in HS from then on, when i was too slow to get outta school after last class and hide). anyway, i realised back then i didn’t wanna be a cumbucket for any dude in any band. LOL, still don’t, actually.

h) most recently my hairdresser who’s also a photographer chose me to be his entry in an upcoming Role Models Show (which i think is hilarious cause if there’s anything i’m not, it’s a role model i.e., if you were me, you’d be dead by now’).

What is your favorite word?

LOL, where to begin? i love all words (i’m a total logophile) but i’d say ‘linoleum’ cos of the way it rolls off my tongue and feels in my mouth (a close second is ‘lingerie’). i prefer words i make up myself, actually; those i use whose definitions are instantly recognisable by others.

What is your least favorite word?

‘work’. i’ve actually got a coupla more like ‘goal’ and ‘achievement’.

What would you choose as your “last meal”?

drooolll… glurghllll… OK, a double shot of Jack Daniels to whet my appetite, then a plain salad (iceberg lettuce, tomato, greenpepper, mushrooms and onions) w/an entire lemon squeezed over it, some French onion soup, then a huge filet mignon (medium rare; way pink and almost but not quite bloody on the inside) w/a large sidedish of sautee’d mushrooms, a large sidedish of roasted potatoes and an endless bottle of some kinda rose’, like white zinfandel. then comes the board of like 20, 30 sashimi and/or an assortment of cheeses before dessert, which’d be a pint of Haagen Dazs White Chocolate & Cherry or pint of HD Coffee or pint of HD Strawberry. a few shots of Jack Daniels afterward and then i throw up (but it’d be worth it).

What’s your favorite guilty pleasure?

i actually found one last week: i totally enjoyed the 3rd remake of King Kong (and i don’t dig blockbusters of any sort). i could watch films 24/7 and i’m totally w/Quentin Crisp: ‘Any film, even the worst, is better than real life’. i used to love reading the dictionary as a child. hmmm, still do, actually, but can’t afford the complete OED; a good friend has the two volume version but i haven’t looked inside it in ages.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

black high-top Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers (which i live in). when it’s way too cold for them, i’m on like my 9th or 10th pair of black leather steel-toed CAT(erpillar) boots (unisex; same deal for men/women).

When do you feel happiest?

‘iz not happiness, iz teh drugs’. let’s move on, shall we?

Name one book that changed your perception of the world.

there’re two: Jessica Mitford’s The American Way of Death and Mark Lane’s Rush To Judgment. if i hadda choose one, it’d be Rush To Judgment (which got me into shitloads of trouble at school; and got me kicked out of three or four public HSs cause i’d always tell my teachers what i thought of the Lone Gunman fable they were passing along and consequently, my answers on whatever tests didn’t match their ‘correct’ ones).

If they made a movie of your life, which actor/actress would play you?

Juliette Lewis.

What are five things you’d like to do before you die?

not in any particular order: go skydiving again, make another film, do heroin again, write my book (this’ll never happen; the book’s basically written but i’m too lazy to put it together from my journals and notebooks so i’ve willed — at their request — all these diaries et al. to two close friends, had the paper witnessed &c; it’s all legal), do stand-up comedy sitting down on one of those high director’s chairs. oh wait, being American, i’d love to have a facelift so my face would match how i feel inside my head. just sayin’.

The world would be a better place if…

i could talk about this stuff for ages and have in mails to friends as well as in meatspace. OK, in no particular order:

a)we could reverse the last eight years and the damage bu$hCo did to my country (the impossible dream cause time travel hasn’t been invented yet).

b) if the 5% of Americans who control 95% of the wealth would give it up (yes—’Socialism, straight to the mainline’).

c) if ‘the richest country in the world’ would take care of its own poor, have a decent health care system for everyone (socialised medicine! LOL, commie pinko stuff) and then feed the poor and hungry worldwide. did you know that after Katrina, bu$hCo refused to permit (i think it was) 125 Cuban doctors (well-experienced w/hurricanes) into the country? cause they were Cuban? (OMG! it’s Castro! ‘better dead than red!’). morons.

d) if all of bu$hCo would be brought to the World Court, tried and found guilty for crimes against humanity.

e) if the US would quit raping (and warring on) poorer countries who have the natural resources we think we need so badly.

f) if the US would leave the Amazon River and its environs alone. a few years ago i read ‘we’ kill over 200 species a day down there. i just know ‘modernisation’ and stuff’s killing off plants and animals, some (if not all) of them having potential key elements for medicinal research, ideally for cancer.

g) if the US’ values didn’t include spending money for scientific research on keeping erections and growing hair and spent the goddamned time and money researching how to cure heavy-duty illness. BTW, i stoled the erections and hair bit from Mike Judge’s ‘Idiocracy’ (funny as fuck film and depicts a dystopic US, the likes of which i’d only seen in my worst nightmares due to the damage bush— the chickenshit coward liar himself — was doing to the entire concept of being intelligent. do you remember he used to call some dude w/whom he went to school, call him up to whatever podium when he was busy using taxpayers’ money making speeches?

anyway (forgot the dude’s name) this asshole (bush) would ask him what his educational degrees were and then the moron would go on and his dumbass punchline would always be ‘and look who’s president now’ (paraphrased). *shudder*

h) if the ‘war on drugs’ were recognised as the governmental money-making farce it is.

i) if the proportion of people of color in America’s prisons paralleled the proportion of those walking about freely outside.

j) if politics weren’t such a down and dirty business and every political candidate for whatever position truly reflected the common man/woman.

k) if those who’ve ever touched a child improperly would be immediately recognised and thrown into prison. for life. same goes for those who’ve abused animals in any way.

l) if money didn’t ‘talk’.

m) if everyone were truly equal and people didn’t judge others on their outward appearances, age, color and/or their incomes.

n) if ignorant motherfuckers would STFU already about gays, blacks and anyone different than they are.

o) if everyone over 12 volunteered at least some of their time on a weekly basis to whatever charity. this would not only help those who need it but it’d maybe change the perception of volunteerism (at least in the States like when some white-collar jerk gets busted and s/he has to volunteer time as part of the punishment). i myself volunteer at PDSA here (it’s a charity for poor people who can’t afford to take their pets for proper veterinary care).

in truth, i haven’t been there as much as i’d like lately due toworking as much as i can (i recently had a huge dental bill amongst other things and i’m sick and tired of taking the ShameTrain — the coach — to London) but i’m trying to save so i feel if anything happens, i have a liddle sump’n to fall back on. once i feel a bit more financially secure, i’m gonna begin turning down jobs to return to my old schedule at PDSA (told boss-dude about this already. bullshit ensued but i think i won).

p) shut down Gitmo immediately. yesterday. and hopefully there’d be lawyers from the ACLU or wherever w/class action suits against those responsible. yeah, i’m tawkin bu$hCo again (soz, my Brooklyn accent comes out bigtime the more pissed i get). }-(

q) if the nail that sticks out wasn’t the nail that gets pounded down.

What is your opinion of Oprah?

booor-ring! *in a Homer voice* i don’t particularly care for things aimed at women cause apart from not ever wanting a doll (i wantedelectric trains, trucks, airplane models, live animals and plush toys), i never related to women’s or girls’ magazines or shows or whatever. as well, books are my first drugs but what’s managed to slip beneath my radar (in re: her recommended books) i found to be ridiculous, unrealistic and misleading to women.

then again, i never watched her but i think i know enough about her to feel pretty damn sure that since she gave away (what was it? a new car?) those luxurious prizes to every audience member ages ago (they don’t talk about the luxury tax or whatever it’s called they all had to pay), i’ll bet (and i ain’t a bettin’ man) there hasn’t been an audience member or prospective one who hasn’t wished she’d do it again when s/he were there in the audience.

there’s shameless self-promo and there’s Oprah/’Lady Bountiful’. believe me, the mileage she got out of her magnanimous bullshit gesture was the kinda publicity money can’t buy. i’d feel a bit more kindly toward her if she’d kept it all to herself, actually; maybe swore the audience to secrecy. *mirthless laughter* oh, and paid the damn taxes for everyone on the receiving end.

Do you dance?

oh yes, and like nobody’s watching. i used to teach dancing, actually, and i’ve choreographed back-up dancers long before madonna et al haddem. LOL, i’d have loved it if you asked about /her/. *snigger*

What is one product that you think lives up to its claims?

hmmpf… ‘products’. i dunno, actually. do you want brand names? Bic pens, i guess. i think they call em ‘biros’ here (not sure). i guess dildoes do but i’ve never used em or anything of that nature, actually.

What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?

place in which i’m fortunate enough to be living now — my dream come true: England (where i saw more rainbows the first Summer i lived here than i’d seen in my lifetime in the States).

What is the most interesting thing about you?

i’ve been called ‘the real-life Zelig’ cause w/o doing anything special, i just happened to be at the right place/right time in many situations in the rock & roll/punk world and was friends w/a lot of people before they got famous e.g., i went to HS w/John Ginzales who became Johnny Thunders, went to two HSs w/Chris Stein (of Blondie fame; he was part of our Greenvich Village crew); had dinner at Max’s Kansas City w/my friends the night Andy Warhol sent one of his minions over to our table to ask my GF Little Patti to meet him (she eventually became the mainstream actress Patti d’Arbanville after she appeared in some of Andy’s films and Francesco Scavullo’s book On Beauty); was at Altamount right up front when that dude got killed; was onstage w/the Rolling Stones at their first gig in NYC (a long hilarious story); rioted in the streets before the PTB relented and gave the Clash the sold-out ten day or two-week run they deserved and thanks to the attorneys for whom i worked, was invited to their hotelroom every night to hang out after the gig; stuff like that.

Do you ski?

not anymore, thank hell. thanks to being engaged to a Wall Street broker (yup, ‘unbe-fuckin-lievable’ [from A Fish Called Wanda]) who drove a Harley, i’ve been too many times (vermont, colorado, upstate NY et al) and hated it (the cold, the waking-up-early bit, the fat clothing, the entire scene).

Describe yourself in five words.

i’m an unrepentant punk — totally.

/rx

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