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Man.

I got up at 3am this morning because I was amped up on Claritin-D.  After a very long, unproductive day, I am ready to just pass the fuck out.  But I can’t.  Because Top Chef is on.

So while I wait, stoned on Benadryl and exhausted from lack of sleep, I am going to share ten random things with you.  Ready?  Mmmkay.

Numero Uno.

I am wearing a red and yellow batik kaftan which is so ugly, I cannot believe I even own it.

#2.

I am drinking Ginger Ale.

3.

Both my kids made the honor roll.

Four.

I wish I had a Dyson vacuum.

El Fivo.

I can’t think of anything sadder than losing a child to death.  I feel so bad for John Travolta and Kelly Preston.

SIX!!!!!

I <3 Jon Stewart.

7.

I have a bag of M&M’s calling my name.  Peanut.

Ocho.

One of my favorite books of all time is One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

Niner.

I am really gassy, damn it.

((((NUMBER TEN))))

These M&M’s are kickin’.

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